Christianity left Rich Too Fucked up to Fuck. The story of how a man experienced sexual abuse, and with the loving help of another, recovered.
If you have sexual issues stemming from religion, this is NOT an episode to miss.
Mentioned in this episode:
Dan Savage: http://www.thestranger.com/savage
and his podcast: http://podcasts.thestranger.com/savagelove/
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Monday, November 8, 2010
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Hi Rich.
ReplyDeleteLove the Blog. Saw you on Youtube on Ask an Atheist and thought I'd check you out. I'm working through your podcasts and could relate so much to this one that thought I'd comment. I had a pretty sexless christian marriage, but not as bad as yours by all accounts. There were other circumstances which added to the problem and after 10 years of marriage I no longer knew how to act sexually and had no confidence to make any moves. After we divorced I began exploring my faith and my sexuality and have come out of the process a vibrant sexually charged go for it atheist.
Keep up the great work.
Your focus is spot on. Christianity distorts self-worth to crippling, sometime fatal extents. I have some relatives that could benefit greatly from liberation.
ReplyDeletethanks again for a great podcast.
ReplyDeleteTwo aspects, beyond power trips, are worth mentioning re/ the Xtian woman's pathetic sexual experience
1. a lot of GUILT re. feeling any sort of desire is pretty much frontloaded into any female's conditioning. Even I who came into a fairly nonchalant Catholic environment was faced with the negative charge women are supposed to feel about pleasure/enjoyment. It's all supposed to be about (you guessed it) breeding - thus the highest form of sexual satisfaction one is supposed to feel is "lie back and think of England". God forefend you're the sort of 'shameless hussy' that actually happens to enjoy sexual union at any level! You get that shit beaten out of you double quick. I wouldn't be surprised if many of the women you had to deal with had to process that poison.
2. the breeding. The inability to use birth control is a serious 'buzz kill' to any woman at all ambivalent about childbirth. I would imagine that more women than not feel at best ambivalent about being breeding machines - even if they admit it to nobody, not even themselves - the easiest way to avoid that risk is to not perform.
Rich, I admire your candor in telling this story of your first, virtually, non-sexual marriage.
ReplyDeleteI am guessing out of respect for your ex-wife and child, you did not go into any great details about why (other than religious conditioning) your wife did not participate in sexual activity when she is required by the bible to submit to her husband.
From your podcasts you seem to be a nice guy but I wonder why you didn't play the "you are required to submit to me" card with your wife and fling all the requisite bible passages at her?
My pastor suggested I rape her until she liked it. Obviously, I did not do that. I considered using the Bible as a tool to force her was no different than rape.
DeleteThis subject is difficult, because I don't want to be disrespectful or or defame anyone, so sometimes I can't really fill in all the blanks.